Dear Lucy,

After months (and months and months) of being in quarantine, the one thing I miss the most is being in a crowded store. Even though being around people gives me hives, there’s something about the energy in the air when a hustle of shoppers are all congregating around one overpriced item. I just feel the joy in my soul. I think that with it being the holidays, I have started to miss it a lot more. I miss listening to Mariah Carey blasting on the loudspeakers while sales agents try to get me to buy overpriced perfume that gives me migraines. Is there any way I can replicate this experience while maintaining my distance? I just need something to warm my socially distanced heart.

Sincerely, Missing the Madness



Dear Madness,

Ah, the joys of commercialism. Just know you’re not alone in missing it. I wonder if you can create some of those special moments in your own home? For example, you could set up stations around your house and ask your family members to purchase certain items for three times as much as you paid for them. Heck, gather up their toys and have them buy them back from you. If you want to have even more fun, loop Mariah Carey on the smart TV, put blinking lights all over your house, bake pretzels and fan the aroma into every room, then blast the heat for that true sweltering effect. To get that fond memory of holiday ambiance of crying and distraught kids, set up just before lunch hour. Or, you can join me as I snuggle at my peaceful home, sipping homemade cider and reading holiday stories by Deborah Garner. Let me know how it goes.
Happy Holidays!