How many tea bags?

I am quarantined with my college-age daughter, and she always uses two tea bags instead of one. I’ve asked her to please conserve our precious supply, but she keeps “forgetting.” My tea is running out quickly. What should I do?

Sincerely, Bubbling Over

Dear Bubbling,

Well, the devious side of me (and really, who doesn’t have one?) says to creep into the kitchen in the middle of the night and replace the contents of each tea bag with finely shredded shrubbery leaves. Then sit back and enjoy the reaction, not to mention your now perfectly weeded garden. However, the other side of me says to remove all tea bags from the kitchen and only leave one per six hours for her to use. And innocently exclaim, “What? We’re already out of tea? Preposterous!” Because who doesn’t like to use the word preposterous?

Most properly yours,

Lucy Leaf

Lucy Leaf welcomes all comments to her advice column and calmly posts this letter just received in response to the above question:
.☕️☕️☕️☕️☕️
Dear Lucy,

I am writing in response to a Q&A that was just published on your website. I am the daughter in the said post, and I have a few problems with her response. One, she stated that she has asked me to “conserve our precious supply,” yet this is someone who regularly buys multiple containers of soy vanilla coffee creamer and keeps them stored in the back of the fridge, then grumbles if someone uses a tiny amount. Is this not a double standard? Also, my mom neglected to mention that I bought the last box of tea. So really, I am letting her use my tea, not the other way around. While I respect her desire to make sure we never run out of tea, it was my duty to set the record straight.

Thank you,
A twenty-something Tea Lover

This just in:

Dear twentysomething:

Please enjoy the mysteriously full stack of tea varieties on the left side of the pantry.